"Jesus Christ I'm Nearly Forty" Billy Connolly lyrics

[r***@gmail.com]

Does anyone know the words to "Jesus Christ I'm nearly forty" by Billy
Connolly or know where I can get them? It is on the LP A Change is as
Good as Arrest but although I have the LP I no longer have a turntable
to play it on. It's to the tune of What a Friend we Have in Jesus and
"Jesus Christ, I'm nearly forty
My pubic hair is going gray
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
I think it's downhill all the way"
Thanks for any hints.
Graham Wood

this is all i can remember, and i dont remember where it fits in

if you see me on the buses
please don't offer me your seat
while you are crunching on those apples
i'll be sucking boiled sweets

Do you remember another song
about Glasgow
"and Granny drove a tram"
is all i remember
It came at the end of an LP record was very short song

[Harold Groot]

Post by r***@gmail.com

Does anyone know the words to "Jesus Christ I'm nearly forty" by Billy
Connolly or know where I can get them? It is on the LP A Change is as
Good as Arrest but although I have the LP I no longer have a turntable
to play it on. It's to the tune of What a Friend we Have in Jesus and
"Jesus Christ, I'm nearly forty
My pubic hair is going gray
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
I think it's downhill all the way"
Thanks for any hints.
Graham Wood

this is all i can remember, and i dont remember where it fits in
if you see me on the buses
please don't offer me your seat
while you are crunching on those apples
i'll be sucking boiled sweets

I found this on the web, posted by a "Mr. Flibble" at:
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=243377
(He said he would have posted a link, except that HE couldn't find the
lyrics posted anywhere....)

Oh Jesus Christ, I'm nearly forty
My pubic hair is going grey
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
I think it's downhill all the way

And when you see me on the buses
Please don't offer me your seat
When you're crunching on those apples
I'll be sucking boiled sweets

Please don't leave me by the seaside
Don't shout as if my ears don't work
Never let me pee my trousers
Don't let me dribble down my shirt....

[r***@gmail.com]

Youtube have the video; you can transcribe!

[r***@gmail.com]

Oh Jesus Christ I'm nearly forty
My pubic hair is going grey
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
I think it's downhill all the way

Oh please don't dump me by the seaside
Don't shout as if my ears don't work
Never let me pee my trousers
Don't let me dribble down my shirt

The hair that once flowed round my shoulders
Is drifting off just like the tide
That thing that was my little parting
Is now about four inches wide

And when you see me on the buses
Oh please don't offer me your seat
Or when you're crunching on those apples
I'll be sucking boiled sweets

I can't play squash or go out jogging
For fear my heart is going to burst
I think that beds were made for sleeping
And that's a whole lot bloody worse

I think I'll stay at home this evening
And watch whatever's on the box
I must buy some thermal knickers
A night cap and some woolly socks

Oh Jesus Christ I'm nearly forty
My pubic hair is going grey
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
I think it's downhill all the way

[r***@gmail.com]

Oh Jesus Christ I'm nearly forty
My pubic hair is going grey
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
I think it's downhill all the way

Oh please don't dump me by the seaside
Don't shout as if my ears don't work
Never let me pee my trousers
Don't let me dribble down my shirt

The hair that once flowed round my shoulders
Is drifting off just like the tide
That thing that was my little parting
Is now about four inches wide

And when you see me on the buses
Oh please don't offer me your seat
Or when you're crunching on those apples
I'll be sucking boiled sweets

I can't play squash or go out jogging
For fear my heart is going to burst
I think that beds were made for sleeping
And that's a whole lot bloody worse

I think I'll stay at home this evening
And watch whatever's on the box
I must buy some thermal knickers
A night cap and some woolly socks

Oh Jesus Christ I'm nearly forty
My pubic hair is going grey
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
I think it's downhill all the way

[Michael]

Post by r***@gmail.com

Does anyone know the words to "Jesus Christ I'm nearly forty" by Billy
Connolly or know where I can get them? It is on the LP A Change is as
Good as Arrest but although I have the LP I no longer have a turntable
to play it on. It's to the tune of What a Friend we Have in Jesus and
"Jesus Christ, I'm nearly forty
My pubic hair is going gray
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
I think it's downhill all the way"
Thanks for any hints.
Graham Wood

this is all i can remember, and i dont remember where it fits in
if you see me on the buses
please don't offer me your seat
while you are crunching on those apples
i'll be sucking boiled sweets
Do you remember another song
about Glasgow
"and Granny drove a tram"
is all i remember
It came at the end of an LP record was very short song

No connection, but Perry Rose sang "Glasgow" about 10 years ago:
http://www.a-lyric.com/2009/06/perry-rose-available-on-amazon-france/


M